by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

Genesis 1:27
And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

How do you communicate to your children that they are cherished and accepted both by you and by God, while still holding up realistic standards for them?

The world places a premium upon performance. As a result, three false values have arisen: intellect, beauty and athletic ability. You must respect your children's uniquenesses above the imposing pressures of the world's value system, showing that they are made in God's image regardless of performance.

It's also difficult to build self-esteem when parents have differing expectations. Consider the boy who grows up with a father who wants him to be aggressive, competitive and outgoing. Add a mother who desires a quiet, calm, "mommy's boy." The result is a son caught in a vice, unable to please either of his parents.

Your own upbringing influences your ability to communicate reasonable expectations. If your parents held unachievable standards over you, you will tend to do the same thing to your children, even though you fight fiercely to avoid it.

What can you do to correct unreal expectations? First, know your child. Know his or her true abilities and interests. Each child should be uniquely considered, apart from siblings.

Second, clearly verbalize your expectations. Unfortunately, many standards are never spoken until they are violated. One suggestion: Write down all the major expectations you hold for your child and post them on a personalized bulletin board.

Third, praise your children for genuine effort. Warm praise and respect will encourage the growth of positive self-esteem. You might ask yourself, "How many times do I positively reinforce my child for his or her efforts each day?" Don't be guilty of withholding your approval from your children. Lavishly grant approval of a "job well done."

Prayer:

That you can experience God's acceptance in order to communicate acceptance and self-esteem to your children.

Discuss: On a scale of 1-10 (1 = low), rank your parents' expectations of you as a child. Discuss with your mate how those expectations affect you and your parenting style today.

Would you like your own copy of this devotional?